Pam and MaraLEAVE A MESSAGE
If you'd like to see messages left by others for Dan, Pam and Mara or if you'd like to leave your own message, just hit the 'comments' link below.
If you'd like to see messages left by others for Dan, Pam and Mara or if you'd like to leave your own message, just hit the 'comments' link below.
130 comments:
Dan, Pam and Mara:
We love you so much and admire your strength and courage every day!
Dan, Pam and Mara:
To the most courageous man and family I know- I admire your fight and dignity. I send my deepest love, support and prayers.
Eric
Dan, Pam and Mara -
Dan Howard is the greatest friend a person can have. We feel so blessed to call you our friend. We send all of our love, support, friendship and prayers to all of you.
With much love,
aly, jimmy, sammy and anna caplan
To Pam, Mara, and your entire family.
It's an honor and privilege to have known Dan over the years, and to witness the intense love and bond of the Howard family. My thoughts and prayers are with you all always.
Tom, Deirdre, Madelyn, and Tommy.
Dan Howard
Just saying that name makes me smile . . .One of the funniest, most wonderful, caring people I have EVER had the priviledge of knowing. Who else would send Jeff a piece of the VET after it imploded?!
My heart goes out to all of you who loved and cared for Dan. I have you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Pam and Mara,
I am very sorry for your loss. Dan was and will always be a beautiful, caring, intelligent and thoughtful man.
As I have already told a few friends that I have talked to this morning, Dan once again brings us all together, this time to celebrate his wonderful life!
My thoughts, prayers and love go out to the entire family.
I am humbled by the beautiful example Dan and Pam set for us with their love and their fight against cancer. I'm reminded of something Rose said years ago, "The Howards really know how to live." Dan made that all the more apparent during the past two years, and the memory of his courage and joy, and his smile, are some of the many, many wonderful things about him that will live on. I love you guys.
It's tough to find words at a time like this, but I've always found comfort in this passage:
In a harbor, two ships sailed: one setting forth on a voyage, the other coming home to port. Everyone cheered the ship going out, but the ship sailing in was
scarcely noticed. To this, a wise person said, "Do not rejoice over a ship setting out to sea, for you cannot know what terrible storms it may encounter or what fearful dangers it may have to endure. Rejoice rather over the ship that has safely reached port and brings its passengers home in peace."
And this is the way of the world: when a child is born, all rejoice; when someone dies, all weep. We should do the opposite. For no one can tell what trials and travails await a newborn child; but when a mortal dies in peace, we should rejoice, for that person has completed a long journey, and there is no greater boon than to leave this world with the imperishable crown of a good
name.
I have countless great memories of times spent with Dan, from Bucknell to Nino's Mob-a-rama to the honor having him at my side as a groomsman. We are all blessed to have had him touch our lives; you'll always be in my thoughts and prayers, my friend.
With love to all,
Mike and Angie Buonincontro
Dear Pam, Mara, family, and friends,
We feel such a mix of grief and joy. Grief because a good friend left us too early... joy because we can't think of Dan without smiling. Dan was a rock of warmth and caring and we will miss him dearly. He was very special to us.
All our love,
Kristen and Evan
Dan made everything more fun … I have the fondest memories of time together on cold and rainy days in Brigantine, time spent in Arlington VA, and Philly. Thanks for making our lives better.
Our thoughts and prayers are with all those that are feeling this great loss.
Pam & Mara,
If Mara grows up with the fight and determination of her dad and the strength, love and poise of her mother, she will be an unbeatable combination.
Betty Fiorani
Pam, we love you and Mara so much. Our hearts go out to you, the Howard family and to your family. We will miss Dan so much. You are all part of our extended family. Dan was a true inspiration to us all. He left us with so many happy memories.
We are always here for you.
Love,
Lori, Paul, Colin and Elin
When a person you love passes away
Look to the night sky on a clear day.
The star that to you, appears to be bright,
Will be your loved one,
Looking upon you during the night.
The lights of heaven are what shows through
As your loved one watches all that you do.
When you feel lonely for the one that you love,
Look to the Heavens in the night sky above.
~ Author Unknown
~ Meghann
Pam, Mara and the Howard Family -
I'm so sorry to hear the news of Dan's passing. He was a true original. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all during this difficult time.
Dave, Kari, Grace and Sam Silcox
Pam, Mara, & Family,
Dan was a true friend and an inspiration to us all. He will sadly be missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.
Love,
Heather & Rob
When a person you love passes away
Look to the night sky on a clear day.
The star that to you, appears to be bright,
Will be your loved one,
Looking upon you during the night.
The lights of heaven are what shows through
As your loved one watches all that you do.
When you feel lonely for the one that you love,
Look to the Heavens in the night sky above.
~ Author Unknown
~ Meghann
King Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3, that to everything there is a season and a reason for everything that is under the sun, there is a time to be born and a time to die, a time to experience joy and then comes times to mourn, but the peace that comes from knowing this, is that God holds us together during these times of storm. Pam & Mara know that all things work together for good for those who know & love the Lord. Jesus said that He would not leave us comfortless and that he went to prepare a place for us in His Father's Kingdom. Prayerfully Dan is resting peacefully in the place that we call heaven. Much love and my prayers go out to you and your family during this time of sorrow. Pam know that you will be surrounded by the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. Love to you & Mara from one of your co-workers. Sincerely, Alice Copeland!
We are so very sorry to hear about Dan. We were truly inspired by his courageous fight and outlook on life....he will be missed by everyone that has known him. You, Mara and to all that are feeling this loss, will remain in our thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Sue, Rob, Lindsey, Megan & Lauren
Dear Pam and sweet Mara,
We are friends of Bill & Lauren in Orlando and have been praying for you all since we heard of Dan's situation early this year. We have never met you but are crying with you today just the same. We are so very sorry for your loss. It's obvious that Dan's life touched the lives of many. We wish we could have known him. May his legacy be Love and Life in you.
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy. Psalm 68:5
Praying that you experience God’s grace in this difficult season, we are,
Respectfully yours,
Joel & Ann Rannebarger
Our hearts are broken at the loss of such a fine fine man. Our most sincere condolences to all of Dan's family and friends.
Dan was as great a friend as you could ever have. It would be hard to find a kinder, more giving person. Lori and I have great memories from Bucknell and the time we spent with him that we will keep with us forever, even if some of them include Magnum PI and Rockford File reruns on the "B" TV.
He was taken from us way too soon, but he leaves behind a little bit of him with us all. You are left better person for having known him. Thank you Dan.
All our love,
Todd, Lori, Claudia, and Elizabeth Bianchine
Dear Pam and Mara,
We are so sorry for your loss. While we only knew you through Jimmy and Alyson, and your brief meeting with Todd at Mt Sinai, we know how unbelievably special you all are. Pam, you are an inspiration with your strength and courage through your family's fight against cancer.
Love,
Julie, Todd, Maddie and Ella Weiser (Jimmy Caplan's sister and family)
Pam and little Mara,
Words can not express my sadness for you and your family, but amazing strength and love come to mind when I think of you and Dan and the battle that you have fought. Pam know that we will help to be your strength at this time and always. Dan was taken from us too soon, but memories will keep us going. The love that all of the Howards share is truly an inspiration to all of us. May Dan's determination, strength,and most of all love live on forever in both of you. I love you both!
Claudine
Dear Pam, Mara and family,
Although I have never met Dan, I am overwhelmed with sadness at the news of his passing and I feel compelled to write to you. It is incredible to read the above posts and see what an amazing inspiration Dan was to every life that he touched. Mara will forever have the most spectacular angel looking over her and guiding her through her life's journey. I wish you comfort in each other as you begin to grieve for Dan and remember him with a smile in your hearts.
"To experience great sorrow, one must first experience great joy."
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this incredibly difficult time.
Tracy (and Gavin) Siravo
We didn't like Dan very much. We say this not so much because it's true but because Dan was a wiseass and would expect it. In fact somewhere right now he is making someone laugh, by making fun of us. If we can figure out a way, we'll get even with you Dan Howard!
Dan made us feel like we had known him all of his life. He could even make someone wish they had gone to Bucknell. How incredible is that?
We went on some trips together, Pam and Dan and Laura and I. Somehow they always ended in a bar. He taught us to like Yuengling, and could drain his bottle in the time it took to remove your cap. We do recall him drinking Iron City, but even he couldn't get us to do that.
He taught us not to wear a "Cheers" sweatshirt in Boston, and that tennis balls need love too.
We drank $15 daquiris in Miami, and he stuck us with the "souvenir" glasses. We'll figure a way to get them back to him.
Dan loves the Flyers and the Eagles. For this we forgive him. He's young and doesn't know better.
Somehow Dan could pull off the bald thing. Somehow he could pull off the female-in-the-orange-dress thing too.
We'll miss you buddy, but you'll always be with us. We know you will always be with Pam and Mara.
We'll be here to help out with Pam and Mara too.
We love you.
Laura, Robbie and Natalie.
Dear Pam and Mara,
We love you so much and are so thankful that you are a part of our lives. Our hearts are so heavy, but we have been finding comfort in our memories of all the times we spent together and in the memory of what an outstanding person Dan was.
We feel so fortunate to have had Dan’s friendship in our lives. When you were with Dan, you always felt his genuine interest in and care for you. He was a true friend – smart, honest, caring, funny.
We have so much admiration for you, Pam, for how you and Dan conducted this fight against cancer. Please know that we are here for you at any time, in whatever way you need us.
Love,
Susan, Eric & Estella
Dear Pam and Family,
I am so sorry for this tragic loss of such an amazing person. Pam, you have blessed me and all of us here at work by knowing you. You are an amazing mother, wife, friend,co-worker. I am in awe of your determination, strength, love for your family, dedication to your husband and your never ending optimistic outlook. Just know that whatever you or Mara need, I and others are here for you both.
Andrea
When a sailors are pulling up the anchors to leave home port to set sail for a new destination, their friends and family, knowing how much they will miss them stand on the docks waiving goodbye and shedding a tear. But yet at another distance port there are people who have gone before them that anxiously awiting their arrivals and to welcome them.
Dear Pam,Mara and Howard Family,
We are so very sorry for your loss. We remember Dan coming to our house with Alyson and all the "gang" and the fun and laughter that always ensued. The fun weekends in Brigantine always brought Alyson home with stories of the Howard boys and how much she loved the family. Our prayers are with you Pam and Mara for finding hope and peace during this difficult time. Our love to all the family. Deena and Earl Rochvarg
http://borntoheaven.tripod.com/thedance.htm
THE DANCE by Garth Brooks
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have chanced it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance
You are all in our thoughts and prayers! <3
We are so sad about Dan. We truly loved hanging out with you guys.. going to New Orleans...a few New Year's Eves together or just getting together for drinks. We will miss him, but we have memories and pictures that will keep him alive in our hearts. We love you Pam and Mara.
Praying for you & your own PEACE
Love Jennifer Bertodatti Jensen
Dear Pam, Mara & Howard Family,
You are all in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.
We wish you strength and peace.
The Smithson Family
I will treasure the one and a half hour lunch I had with Dan this past April. Although I knew that Dan was a very special young man, that brief lunch encounter helped me to also learn how very courageous he was. Shelly and I have often discussed how fortunate Dan was to have been part of such a wonderful family. To you, Pam & Mara, our best wishes for a comfortable future.
Love
Shelly & Barry Blank
I am an old friend from middle and high school. I was so sad to hear of DAn's passing. Whenever I think of those days, he is one of the first to pop into my mind. Those piercing blue eyes with so much kindness and gentleness behind them. He will be missed.
Maryann Murphy (Greco)
Providing an opportunity like this for me to create one huge run-on sentence is a dangerous thing, and I know Dan wouldn't believe it, but I don't know what to say.
Well, it felt like it took FOREVER for Dan Howard to turn 30 (insert Dan eye-rolling here) and now it's hard to believe that his life on the other side of 30 has been cut so short. I know I'm going to screw up this quote, but I can't get it out of my head about life not being measured by only moments or breaths, but by the moments that take your breath away... only such great love could cause such massive sorrow. Pammy, if we could all thank Dan, we would thank him for accepting all of your friends as his own friends. He was always so welcoming and open to all of us, ever ready with a huge hug and big grin. He always said someone's name with that grin, which always made a person feel great. If you were going to see Pam & Dan, you knew you were going to have fun. Period. One of my favorite (and especially welcoming) memories is when Dan & Bill dug out a parking space in 20 ft of snow so I could drive to Horace Ave (when all the roads were closed) to hang out with you guys for that blizzard. I was traumatized by the action figures in the guest room, but that's another story. I'll always remember the way he looked at you, Pam. I loved him most of all for that.
Our hearts go out to you and to your whole family. We are so sorry. Pam, please know that there is so much love and support for you & Mara... you are so great at being so nice to and doing good things for others, so now please let others be so nice to and do good things for you:-)
We love you and always will.
Ilise & Kevin Cohn
Pamela, Mara & Howard Clan:
We are gutted to hear the news of Dan's passing. He has been in our thoughts and prayers since hearing of this situation earlier in the year. While I haven't seen 'Danimal' in nearly a decade, I can close my eyes and still see his easy smile, quick friendship and sarcasm. I will never forget the wonderful times I shared with Dan & the other Howard lads. Brigantine: Truly wonderful times.
I am very proud to have known such a lovely man. He has left behind such a strong legacy of love and community. Please know that no matter which part of the country we may all be residing, our hearts are with you.
Maria Fernanda & Adolfo Arauz
I have two wonderful daughters. One of them happened to meet and marry a wonderful man named Dan Howard. Their life together was too short, interrupted by a terrible disease. While Dan's death has been devistating to all his family and friends, tragedies like this act as a window to the character of the people most intimately involved.
I feel so proud to be Pam's father. I watched her bond with Dan grow stronger as his cancer tore at their life together and with Mara. She has always been Dan's best friend and his biggest supporter. Every father and family should be blessed with someone like her. The world needs more people like Pam to love and sustain a partner like Dan.
Jerry Hurlbrink
Pam's Dad
Dear Pam and Mara and the Howard family,
Dan was such a good friend to us and we will miss him terribly. We hope there is some comfort in the recognition by so many people that he really did make this world a better place. We loved Dan, we love you, and we hope that the great strength and courage that Dan showed to the end has now been added to your own.
With admiration and love,
Bob, Kristan, Henry and Ruby
Pam and Mara,
I am so truly sorry for your loss. Anyone who knew you and Dan could see how much you loved each other and how much you both love Mara. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to know your family. It is amazing to see the love and the strength between you. Please know that you have friends who will be there for you and for Mara.
Love Robin
Pammy - THANK YOU for finding Dan. I was just reading one of his letters from Bucknell and I quote: "I met a girl the other day because she quoted the Blues Brothers and I knew the line." He goes on to say that girls won't even look at you if you're a freshman. His prospects at finding love, as he later admits in the letter, (fall of 1989)..are dim. Poor kid.
Little did he know that he would one day meet you and that he would be so damn happy.
And now YOU Pam Howard get to hear the same great stories over and over and over again...buying beer from a cop, painting the bridge, sliding on the tarp at Vet Stadium, and those fascinating tales of adventure and bravado from senior week (I and II) in Ocean City, NJ! See what you've gotten yourself into! (Hell, you can probably tell most of those stories better - and more accurately - than I can)
Danny - I love you. You were always such a great friend to me. You know you owe me a six pack for that bet and I will find a way to collect my friend. And sorry I played so crappy in that pick-up hoops game in Hatboro - you played great and we should have won. My life would have been a lot more boring and much less fulfilling without you buddy.
All our love and good energy to the Howard Family. Thank you for doing so much for Dan.
Dan always met you with a smile and had such a zest for living. When I think of him, I see a very special person: a colleague who was a pleasure to work with, a father and husband who clearly loved his family (and truly glowed whenever I asked about Pam and Mara), a brother who knew his family was there for him from providing baby furniture to helping him fight this disease, and a great friend.
I was fortunate to have worked with him, and we were blessed to have had him in our lives. Pam and Mara, I don't have to tell you that he is a special guy, but I want you to know that so many other people know that as well.
Our love to you,
Barbara Yorke, Paul and Christopher Villa
Dan was a great friend and a role model. I am fortunate to have met such a great person. I truly believe my life is better as a direct result of the time we spent together. His passing is a great loss to me and everyone he influenced.
Dan was always driven to succeed. His natural ability and determination to achieve advanced him rapidly through school, work, and life in general. Dan would always put his best effort into everything he did. All of this achievement was accomplished without ever compromising his integrity. Dan would never do anything he felt was wrong or unjust to move ahead. He held his stance no matter how great the pressure. There were many instances when he could have sacrificed his integrity to quickly resolve on issue or make someone happy. He never succumbed to the temptation.
Dan saw the best in people. He believed all people should be able to live their lives as they pleased. There was no room in his life for bigotry or hatred towards any group of people. Dan never judged anyone by their lifestyle. He was more concerned about a person's honesty and character. He was a very loyal friend who would not hold back his opinion if he though it would help a friend. He always took responsibility for his actions and the actions of the people he led. Never did he try to pin the blame on someone or find a scapegoat.
Dan had a passion for fun and adventure. He was in a head-to-head battle with his brothers to get to all 50 states (did anyone win?). Dan hiked his way across Europe with a backpack and staying at various hostiles. He enjoyed going to festivals. I have many fond memories of us at Mardi Gras (of course, he was there for the music & to watch out for us ;-) ). Just look at the pictures below. How many people do you know that have dressed in drag to race across a city in a couch?
He loved his family so much. Every time we met he had a something good or funny to say his wife or one of his brothers. His pride and joy was his daughter. He was such a proud and loving father. Every time he spoke about her his face lit up. It was love of his family that kept him going. He wanted to spend as much time with them as he could.
Pam, we don't know each other well but please call me any time you need something. I know Dan only wanted the best for you and Mara. If I can help in anyway just let me know. Dan was always there for me and you can count on me being there for you.
Pammy - All the love and peaceful energy I can muster up are going to you and Mara on this day. I only wish I could have met Dan. Knowing you, he must have been really special. I am deeply, deeply sorry.
Michelle Guetens Esler
Dan touched the lives of countless people, and I am so proud to be included in such an elite group. I lived with Dan, Lori and Bill years ago..everyone made my transition from "small town USA" to the Philly area so much smoother for me - especially Dan, Pam, Bill and Lori. Your friendship made such a difference for me, thank you. Although, I must admit, I never missed sharing a bathroom with two guys after Lori and I moved out. Pam and Mara, you are in my thoughts and prayers... I remain inspired by your courage and strength. Much love, Lisa Evancho
My name is Jon Leibowitz and I went to high school with Dan. I am deeply sorry for your loss. In reading this blog I can see what a wonderful husband, father, son, brother, and friend he was. His fight, courage, and strength is an inspiration to us all...Jon
Dear Pam and Mara,
I can still remember the night Pam and Dan met at Brownies in Plymouth Meeting. It was one of our typical nights out when we were all 20-somethings. The girls bellied up to the bar and we turned and there was Dan. The rest of the evening Pam and Dan spent together. From that day on Dan was part of Pam. You rarely heard Pam's name without Dan's attached. What I will remember about Dan besides that he took so long to marry our beautiful Pam (just kidding) is that he is one of the most decent guys I know. Pam and Dan had such a unique relationship; one that I have always admired. Since moving out of the Philadelphia area I have not been involved in Pam and Dan's daily life but I have been following Dan's fight from a far. There have been many times when I wished I reached out more to Dan and Pam, but please know that you were in my thought often and I always said a silent prayer for his recovery. Dan will be greatly missed and we will never forget what a wonderful husand, father, and friend he was to everyone.
Dawn Potts
Washington, DC
Pam, Mara & the Howard Family,
When I think about Dan it makes me happy for many reasons. We were friends for a long time and shared quite a few laughs and an occasional tear. Many of the laughs occurred at Lundy Lane (several involving Tobes sans clothing - come to think of it, that was the cause of some of the tears too). Although Lundy Lane was officially the Howard's home, it served as a 2nd home to me and many others. It was a place where we always felt welcome and were always embraced in kindness and friendship (even when I spilled milk on the living room floor during a Dungeons & Dragons sleepover party). Actually, I spilled some other stuff in the later years that I'd prefer not to fess up to. Despite my spills, the house was always a gathering place because the Howard's were there.
Several years later, the house on Horace Avenue became the de facto gathering spot for many friends and of course the Howards were at the center of that as well (my favorite part of that house was the PA Turnpike postcard). This house also became the place where Dan & Pam first lived together and that same sense of friendship and kindness was evident here as well.
The house on Warner Road has also become a gathering spot for friends and family. Throughout Dan's illness the same sense of warmth, kindness and friendship permeated (spell check where are you?) the house. Everytime I walked in, Pam, Mara, Dan and the llama's made me feel at home.
Dan was always at the forefront of that sense of friendship wherever he went & I will carry that sense of friendship with me always.
I am very thankful to the Howard family and to Pam (and little Mara too) for always making me feel welcome. I'd also like to thank Mr. Howard in particular for giving us all Dan. Mostly though, I'd like to thank Dan for being my friend.
Lots of Love,
Billy, Amanda, Katie, Abby & Alex Jenkinson
Dear Pam, Mara and the Howard Family,
Some people we know leave an impression, a stamp if you will, upon you for the rest of your life. I've had friends who have shown courage, friends who have exhibited warmth and love, friends who have demonstrated determination and without knowing, they pass those qualities onto the lives of the people they touch. Dan has passed on all of these traits - courage, warmth, love, and determination - on to those who knew him and cared for him.
I have a lot of wonderful memories of Dan from our "younger" years and I look back at times we spent together with laughter and happiness. From Lundy Ln, to Brigantine, to prom (that night he was in heaven driving his bro's car, a mustang?? - after a high-speed jaunt on some winding roads, I think I kissed the ground when we got out), Dan knew how to have fun.
Pam, during the few times we met, Dan's love for you was so evident. It was so great to know that he was truly happy.
Dan has always been such a vibrant and personable man. He is a father, brother, son and husband who I know will be greatly missed by his family.
My thoughts and prayers to you,
Becky Stewart (Engart)
MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.
It is hard to find words to express the sadness from losing such an amazing person. Thankful is a word that comes to mind. Thankful Dan was included in a list of friends. Thankful for his sincerity and kindness. Thankful for his genuine interest in those around him. Thankful for Mara's blue eyes that will never let you forget him.
Since it is difficult to find the words, I will steal from the simple wisdom of my 3-year old. She asked if my friend was in heaven and I told her yes. She said, "that's okay, he will be with your mommy". Dan will be comforted by those who have gone before him.
I feel fortunate to have known Dan. I wish peacefulness, love and hope to Pam, Mara and their families.
Chrissie, Gary & Emily Cohen
My daughter Kara goes to Mara's daycare. Since my husband does the dropoffs/pickups, I don't know Mara or her parents. I've had a glimpse through this website though. It's obvious you are an amazing family. This site made me literally laugh and cry. I wish I could do something to help heal the pain. I will think of all of you in the months and years to come and will pray for you to somehow find peace.
Pam,Mara, and Howard Family
I cannot find the words to express how sorry we are for your loss. Actually, I should say, all of our loss. Dan was one of the kindest, fun-loving, thoughtful people I have ever known. I have so many fond memories from our time at Bucknell together and at other events since then. I think back on things that he would say or do and it makes me smile. He is truly special and will always be in my heart.
As I look at my own children, I cannot help but think of your beautiful daughter Mara. She should always know how wonderful a man that her father was.
From the Trout family, we extend our most sincere condolences and we will keep you in our prayers always.
Larry, Monica, Joey, Matthew and Luke
I always looked up to Dan--height-wise, not out of a sense of admiration or anything. (He would have expected me to say something like that, just as I would have expected it from him.)
Actually, the truth is that I did admire Dan a great deal. Whenever a member of a close-knit group of friends begins dating someone, there's almost always some reluctance to fully embrace the new person into the group; at the very least, there's a fairly lengthy probationary period. Not so with Dan. When he and Pam got together, *everyone* liked him. Immediately. And if you're familiar with this group of people, then you know that that was no small feat. I mean, a few of us didn't even really care for each other, let alone an "outsider." (Just kidding...) In my case, I took to Dan right away because he gave as good as he got. And I liked him even more once I saw how well he treated Pam and how happy he made her.
Obviously, in learning how valiantly he fought this disease, my admiration for him has grown even more. The way he persevered was astounding and inspiring. I unfortunately hadn't seen Dan in a few years, and I wish I'd had the chance to say goodbye. But I'm grateful that I had the chance to know him.
Pam, Mara, and the Howard and Hurlbrink families: I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Chris
Pam, Mara and the entire Howard Family,
We feel so blessed to have been able to call Dan a friend. He was truly an amazing man and an inspiration to all! We admire the Howard family and their strength and optimism throughout Dan's entire fight. We love you so much and will always cherish our memories of Dan in our hearts!
Love, Tara Mike Maya and Ben Clarke
Pam- I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
The website is such a wonderful tribute to your husband. I wish I had the priviledge of meetinng Dan.
You and your beautiful daughter will be in our thoughts and prayers. Frannie Graham- Davis
My heart goes out to Dan, Pam, Mara,and all the Howard family. Dan's strength through his entire fight is incredible and inspirational to all. Nothing can replace his love, presence, and love for life, but we can all know we are better people for knowing Dan.
My deepest sympathies to the Howard's.
Melissa (Nagurny) Hildebrandt
It is with sincere regret that we extend our condolensces to the Howard family during this sad time. The blog was a very touching and emotional tribute to Dan. I never had a chance to meet him but my husband spoke fondly of him from their days together at Accenture and we were aware of his many challenges when we heard he was diagnosed with Melanoma. May your family find strength and comfort in each other during the holidays. God Bless.
To Pam, Mara and all the Howard family,
Dan was such a very special person in so many ways -- and he touched so many lives in so many ways.
The Nagurny family is deeply saddened by Dan's passing, and you are all in our thoughts and prayers.
Rest in peace, Dan.
Nick and Karen Nagurny (Beth's parents)
To the Howard family,
I am so sorry to hear about Dan's passing. He was a good friend back in high school. I can remember watching the Flyers playoff games with him in my basement and all the Cross-Country and track runs we went on together.
Although my time in PA sometimes seems like it was in another life, reading about Dan's fight against cancer and all of the things he accomplished in a short time makes me proud to have known him and brought back some great memories.
My family wishes all of you well.
Ron, BJ, and Trinity Steinhilber
To Mara, Pam and the Howard family,
We are deeply sorry for your loss. We did not know Dan too well but felt like we did from all of the amazing, inspirational stories we heard from my sister, Tara Clarke. You should be blessed to have had such a wonderful father, husband, son, brother and friend.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Tiffany, Ed, Kacey and Alex Emmell
My prayers are with your family during this incredibly difficult and unfair time. I did not know Dan. I am Peggy's cousin Jeff from Ohio and I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I attended Peggy and Rob's wedding with my mother and my sister and my partner Scott. I do remember Dan's beaming smile! Dan's couragous fight to live is a lesson for all of us and he will inspire countless others to cherish it! God bless your family.
Jeff Hicks
Pam (and Mara)
I am so sorry to hear about Dan. I haven't seen you since our field hockey days, but I do remember Dan coming to watch the games and cheer you on! I haven't gotten the chance to meet Mara, but she certainly seems like a wonderful and special little girl. Please know that you both are in my prayers.
Sue Burns
Dear Pam, Mara and the Howard Family,
I've heard many wonderful things about Dan from my sister Beth. He was such a great person, husband and father. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
Sincerely,
Tina Chylack (Nagurny)
Pam, our deepest sympathies to you and your family, our prayers are with you.
Hank and Francine Opferman
Hello Everyone,
This is Bill Jenkinson Sr., the father of Dan's good friend Bill. My favorite memory of Dan is the way he was as a little boy. He had such a kind and peaceful demeanor that it set him apart.Even when he grew into a man with strong convictions and values, his gentleness of spirit never changed.Whenever I saw him, I instantly felt happier about myself and the world in general.That is a rare and cherished quality.
Often, when I have lost people in my life, I have taken comfort in a line from my favorite movie. The movie is "How Green Was My Valley?" and it tells the story of a Welsh mining family in the early 1900s.The story is told in flashbacks by the youngest son of the family. At the end of the movie, when the boy's father dies in a mining accident, he says: "Men like my father can not die.They are with me still,real in memory as they were in flesh, loving and beloved by all."
And so it is with Dan...he will always be with us.
Bill
Pam,
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family at this incredibly difficult time. My husband works at Accenture and forwarded me the email about Dan today. When I asked him to get me the maiden name of Dan's wife, I was shocked and very saddened to hear it was your husband. I can only imagine how important your friends and family are at this time and I wanted you to know that there is a much larger pool of prayers being sent your way. Please send my best to Lisa and your mom.
Thinking of you,
Marissa (Missy) Simone Costonis
Pam-
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. You, your precious Mara, and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sandy Anisko Jones
GMA '85
Pam,
My husband worked at accenture and we were just sent this terrible news of your husband's passing. God bless you and your daughter as you go through this together. She is such a beautiful little girl and looks just like her daddy. Prayers, love and peace to you and your little Mara.
God Bless,
Amy Yetter
Dear Pam, little Mara, the Hulbrink and Howard families, Thank you so much for sharing this website and giving us another look at a great man, friend, brother, son, husband, and father. Dan is a person that you meet once and never forget. He was one of the good guys. We will miss him.
Our love and prayers are with you,
Jess, Pete, Riley and Paige Hussie
Dear Pam, Mara and the Howard Family,
I wanted to let you know that I am thinking and praying for all of you at this difficult time. I never officially met Dan but saw him a few times at the daycare. Pam, you have always been so positive and strong. I never knew what you and your family was going through. Mara is a very lucky little girl to have you and Dan as parents and to have a strong family with lots of love. God Bless all of you! Love, Beth, Andrew and Victoria Tinari
"For Lycidas is dead, dead ere his prime,
Young Lycidas, and hath not left his peer. . ."
From all of us at Upper Moreland High School who remember Dan's wit, his intellect, and his integrity, our deepest condolences go to the Howard family.
Richard Cohen
Dear Pam, Mara and the Howard Family. I just received the email of the terrible news (I work at Navmar, a former employer of Dan). I never knew Dan, but after viewing this website, I feel I have known him my whole life. I am sorry for your loss.
Pam,
We only met a couple times when you and Dan came to Penn, but I could feel the love and respect between you both. I will always remember Dan and his incredible will to fight, even to the end. God bless you and your daughter Mara. You will both be in my thoughts and prayers.
Kathleen Harlacker
Univ. Of Penna. Abranmson Cancer Ctr.
My deepest sympathy goes out to the Howard Family. Rob, I did not know your brother, only the fond stories you and Peg have shared. The strength you all share along with the wonderful memories of a much beloved brother will keep you laughing and smiling.
Dear Pam and Mara,
We are friends of Anne and Steve and Dave and Stacy in Oceanport, NJ. We have been in awe of Dan's courage and positive attitude throughout this terrible ordeal. May you find peace in your memories and strength in the love and support of your extended family and many friends.
With our deepest sympathies,
Peter, Amy, Jonathan and Sarah Grimm
THE SHIP
"There she goes!" A tall ship with its sails unfurled departs from the shore and gracefully disappears over the horizon. Those who gathered on the beach to see her off are heavyhearted to think they will never see her in their world again.
At the same moment on the opposite shore, a crowd has assembled, patiently waiting with joyful anticipation. Slowly the sails come into view and a cry rings out from those gathered, "Here she comes!" ~ Author Unknown
Pam,
I never met your husband but from reading through this site, I wish I had! He seemed like a great, fun loving man. I have to laugh at all your fun pictures. Mara will be proud to say he is her father and she will always carry him with her! I admire you and your family for being so strong at such a sad time!
Lots of Love and prayers for you and your family.
Love
Stephanie Masseli
(Pre-K teacher at Mara's school)
Pam, Mara, and family,
I went to high school with Dan and just recently heard about his battle and his passing. I am so very sorry. He will always be remembered for his genuine personality and those beautiful blue eyes... you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Tina (Piracci) Marczak
Dan was my best friend in high school, and I do not think I have ever had a better one - before or since. He is, quite simply, one of the finest persons I have ever known. We first really bonded on a class field trip to France the summer following tenth grade. Even though none of us could string together more than a few clumsy phrases in French, Dan caught the interest of one of the French girls in our host group (named Karina, if I recall?), demonstrating early on the universal appeal that is so evident in the comments on this site.
It is not difficult to understand why anyone would be drawn to Dan. Funny, smart, sensitive and kind - he also made it easy to be his friend, which can be a rare and overlooked trait.
Many of my best memories involve Dan. I still recall vividly a party at the Howard's in the winter of 1989, when Dan and I decided the time was right to ask two of the other party guests to be our respective prom dates. Being the smooth ladies' men we were, we thought it would add to the moment (and increase our odds) if we each presented a rose when popping the question. So, after everyone else crashed and was sleeping, we drove around at 3 a.m. trying to find an all-night convenience store which sold flowers. We finally found one, and the ploy worked as we both wound up getting postive responses upon our return, although my prom date (and future wife) probably didn't realize what she was getting into at the time.
That memory, that night, and what they represent - laughter, youthful spontaneity, friendship, fun - capture so much of what Dan is about to me. I cherish the memories I have with him, but I wish there were additional ones, and I wish even more fervently that there was still a chance to build new ones.
When one is lucky enough to come across special people in life - good, kind, generous people - it is foolish not to nurture and sustain such friendships. I wish I had done more to do so with Dan as the years progressed, and am sorry that I no longer have that opportunity. Whenever I have thought of Dan and the times we shared, it would bring me a smile, and always will. But now, as I write this, it brings tears as well.
To Pam, you know far better than me the quality person Dan was; my sympathies for your loss, and my admiration for the strength and love you have shown to him and Mara. Please know that there are even more people thinking of you, and who care for you, than you probably realize.
To Mara, I would like you to know that even from a young age, it was evident that your dad would grow to be an admirable man, husband and father. I know that his love for you must have been, and will always continue to be, immense. I am sure that he will watch over you with pride.
And finally to Dan, thank you for being a special part of my life. Sue and I will miss you dearly.
Rob Quigley
Pam and I worked together in the ‘90s at Hedwig House. Pam (and our boss, Joe) were such wonderful mentors and role models, both professionally and personally. Pam has always been positive, supportive, motivating, and wise beyond her years (and a lot of fun). She always knows the best way to look at situations and people to help make them be the best that they can be. I remember when she met Dan at Brownies and our “girl talk” about him and how happy he made her. I met Dan socially and when he volunteered at Hedwig House. He was so kind, generous, intelligent, and patient with everyone. When one spoke to Dan, he gave them his full attention and a smile. (And he was a lot of fun, too!) I also thought it was so touching that he had such an interest and admiration for Pam’s work and made her work part of him as well. Together, Pam and Dan are so wonderful and inspirational and have been for as long as I’ve known them and especially throughout this tragedy. Pam, I know that for the rest of my life I will continue to reflect on the spirit of living that you and Dan have ~ and I thank you and Dan for that!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Mara and your families.
Leah
Pam - you and your family are an inspiration. I'll keep you all in my prayers and don't hesitate to call me if you need anything!
Pam Santos
(610)792-4662
Pam and Mara,
Although we only met your wonderful family a few times through Aly and Jimmy, we knew how special you are. Pam, you,re an inspiration to all. Your strength is amazing and we are sure Mara will grow up with the strength of her parents. We wish you well at this difficult time
Susan & Richard Marcus
Pam and Mara and the Howard family,
I am so sorry for your loss and so grateful for the time you had with Dan. In years to come that blessing will serve to so warm your heart. Pam if there is anything I can do please do not hesitate to contact me 610-282-1904. This poem was given to me during a rather sad time in my life and helped me adjust my line of sight.
____________________
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed.
At the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort.
without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somehere very near, just round the corner.
All is well.
____________
And if I go, while you're still here.... Know that I live on, vibrating to a different measure,
behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again.
both aware of each other.
Until then,live your life to its fullest.
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there
Much love and prayers
Kerry Merritt New Options
Dear Pam, Mara, Jerry and Carol, the Howard Family, and other family members.
We extend to you our sincerest sympathy for your loss. We are well aware of trials and tribulations, the expectations and disappointments, and the good news and not-so-good-news that you have been experiencing, and as a result Dan and all of you have been in our prayers for many months.
May you find peace and strength from the battle that Dan fought, as he was clearly fighting for all of you. Let me also say that it was evident in Dan's eyes that his love for you, Pam, and you, Mara, was unbounded. I saw it every time I saw you together.
We will continue to keep Dan and you in our prayers and thoughts.
Dear PAm, Mara, Family and Friends,
We are so saddened by Dan's passing. Dan was a very friendly and outgoing person, from helping us to shovel our snow covered driveway to his leapfrog act on the dance floor with Rob at Lori and Paul's wedding. Meeting up with Dan at many weddings and always with a smile. He was a inspiration to everyone. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you, Mara and your family.
Love, Mic and Crystal McDonald
(Lori's parents)
Dear Pam,
I just read the e-mail from GMA and I am so sorry for your loss. I know we have not seen eachother since school But from reading this blog you have been in very good hands. I know you have difficult times ahead of you,but that beautiful little girl will see you though.You and Mara are in my thoughts.
Fondly,
Karen Bibro (voss)
Dear Dan, Pam and Mara,
I am Alan Miller's brother who has been one of Dan's close friends over the years since their time together at Bucknell. I was fortunate to get to know Dan through Alan on several occasions including visits when Dan and Al were in college, when they lived together after college, on trips to Vegas, and at my brother's wedding. As everyone who knew Dan even for just a few minutes would confirm, Dan was exceptionally warm, intelligent, good-natured, and fun.
Deborah and I were so sad to hear of your battle with the disease and ultimately of Dan's passing. We are all better people to have had Dan in our lives. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Warmly,
David Miller
Dear Pam and Mara,
I met your family at Peg and Rob's wedding. To this day, I am so impressed by the bond of love among the Howard family. Gene and Sharon have kept us informed of this tough, tough battle against cancer. I pray that you will find strength in God's love and the love of family and friends.
Marilyn Hicks
Columbus, Ohio
Pam and Mara,
Pam you have been an amazing friend to me, now I hope I can be that for you during this tough road ahead. Dan was an amazing, kindhearted, fun, man. I will look back on our happy hour days and get togethers and smile. The two of you have such an amazing love that I have always admired and respected. You have been such a strong woman through all of this and what an amazing mother Mara has.
After todays beautiful service, I want to be a better person for Dan. I feel I owe that to him and to you for being such good friends to me. His memory will live on, that is evident by the amount of love that was shown and people who came out today.
Elena
Pam, Mara, and Everyone:
I’ve been thinking of Dan and all of you all week. Today must have been very difficult and my heart goes out to everyone who has been touched by Dan.
I met Dan (introduced as Dex) in college through Tobes and we partied together many times. At Muhlenberg. In Brigantine. In Willow Grove. At Bucknell. In Mountaintop? In the car. At the movies. Places I don’t remember. But I do remember Dan’s refrain of “drink Maples” which I always did. He was the king of peer pressure. But it only worked because I looked up to Dan. He always knew exactly what to say and do no matter what the situation. He always seemed to be exactly where he was supposed to be. He was a great host and a great guest. He was a brother among brothers and a friend among friends: mature, fun, giving, generous, and humble. Obviously, a great husband and father. A great example to us all.
The parties in Brigantine will always be with me. I felt like I was part of a family there. That insane game of quarters, dancing like fools, Moz dropped 160, celebrating Summer Solstice (I still have the shirt), everyone hugging and kissing at midnight on New Years, and Van Morrison sounding like God the morning after…
And the plaque in the bathroom “Laughter is music in the ears of God…” It wouldn’t have been the same without Dan.
One thing that always amazed me about Dan was that whenever some current event took place, like the OJ thing or Michael Jackson catching his hair on fire, he was always the first one to crack a tasteless joke, like “beat it.” This was before the internet so I don’t know how he did it. I couldn’t come up with anything to rival him today and I don’t know that it’s appropriate anyway, but I did search the internet and found one that Dan just might have appreciated:
Two old baseball buddies with lung cancer were chatting on a park bench. Paul says, "I hope they have a baseball team in heaven."
"Me too", says Jack.
"Tell you what", says Paul, "If I die first, I'll give you a message about whether there is baseball in Heaven. If you die first, you can do the same for me."
A year later, Paul is dead and Jack is sitting on the park bench when he hears: "Jack, it's me, Paul. I have great news! Guess what. There really is a baseball team in heaven."
"Thank God", sighs Jack, "Now I can die in peace."
"I'm glad you feel that way," says Paul, "because you're pitching tomorrow."
Idea contributed by Sid Nadler, Lung cancer patient
I can’t remember the toast… something something something…. Around the head. Who said head? I’ll have some of that. Here’s to you Dan Howard.
Love,
Maples
One of Dan's brothers approached Michael and me at today's celebration. Michael was at the hospital the evening before Dan's passing, witnessing one of the worst parts of his struggle to hold on. The comment made was that he should not remember Dan as he saw him in those final moments, but remember him at his healthiest and most vibrant. And that reminded me of this sonnet by Shakespeare. Though it sounds a bit like a love poem in the beginning, bear with it. You'll see why:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
"...thy eternal summer shall not fade." Exactly. We should remember Dan as his idealized self, in all its sarcasm, vitality, and tenderness. I will remember the Dan that was part of our wedding. The Dan that made Michael happy just to be his friend. I didn't have the pleasure of knowing him long or well, but from all that I have learned over the past few days, it's enough to fill my heart both with a great joy and sadness. Enough to hope that in continuing to reflect on his life and share his stories, we will continue to "give life to him."
~Angie Buonincontro
Super Bowl Memories
I did not know Dan well. I saw him once a year at Alan Miller's Super Bowl party.
It was weird. I didn't know him well, yet he was the one person whom I most looked forward to seeing. He was, for me, the person who made the party.
As soon as he walked in, there was a hug. Weird, right - I mean I didn't grow up with him, didn't go to school with him, only saw him once a year. He was a friend of a friend. But the hug always seemed right. And just as right, almost immediately as the embrace broke, out of Dan's mouth, "Okay Cohen, I'll bet you a buck that (fill in absolutely absurd bet here)."
Really, that was my relationship with Dan. Making a series of ludicrious $1 bets during the course of the Super Bowl. And my goodness I loved it. I used to tell my wife, Jamie, every Superbowl Sunday morning that I had to run out somwhere to get a bunch of ones because I knew Dan would be there goading me on to make one ridiculous bet after another(and almost assuredly taking all of my ones home with him).
"Cohen, a buck the next commercial is for beer. I get beer, you get everything else." Budweiser.
"Cohen, a buck the next play is a run." Handoff up the gut.
"Cohen, a buck the next pass is incomplete." Receiver drops a ball right in his hands.
It was amazing. As if he could will the result. And each time he won, which was nearly 100% of the time, a huge laugh from both of us and then, the next bet.
I've spent just about each and every one of the last 15 Super Bowl Sunday's at Al's house with Dan. At the beginning it was small. A few guys and a lot of beer. As the years passed, the numbers increased. We all began bringing wives and husbands. Soon after that, pictures of kids. I remember the first year Dan arrived a proud papa. Immediately, into his wallet and a picture of Mara. He was beaming. I was shocked - I mean, it was the first time that he didn't immediately bet me $1 on something.
I didn't really know Dan that well, but it was so clear, based on our annual meeting, that Dan was an amazingly warm, gunuine and fun loving man. He adored his wife and daughter and had a way that made people feel that he really cared about them (even if he was taking all of that person's money in $1 increments). He let you in, he welcomed you and he made you laugh.
I only saw him once a year, but I actually think I did know him pretty well.
I'm sure I will spend Super Bowl Sunday this year at Al's as well. It simply will not be the same this year, or ever again.
Mike Cohen
Pam/Mara & the Howard family,
I was a friend of Dan's from Bucknell and Dan will surely be missed by all he touched. There never seems to be the right words at times like these - but I just want to say Thank you to Dan for being a part of my life and send my love and condolences to Dan's family. And as Rob so eloquently put in his eulogy - we are all a part of Dan's family.
Ron Bittler and family
Dan is my little brother and I have loved him for a long time. Dan was 2 years old when I left for college. My experiences at home with him did not revolve around beer and the Flyers, but more about Walter the Water Snake - the most revolting reptile in the history of the universe - and rubber bats and snakes thrown into my room when I was sleeping. I loved Dan a lot - but what I really want to write about is Pam.
Dan brought Pam to our house and we loved her on sight. She was fun and relaxed and funny and it felt like we had known her all our lives. Dan pointed out early in his introductory conversation that Pam was a ferocious field hockey player, and had broken someone's breastbone in a game. I didn't even know that breastbones could be broken, but this gave us a measure of respect for the warrior queen side of Pam's nature. (Knowing Pam, I'm also sure that the owner of the broken breastbone is probably still good friends with Pam and didn't really mind a bit.)
Over the last two years, Pam has had no choice but to be a warrior when required. Over the last two months, she had to be a warrior all the time. She never had any time off. If family came to be with Dan, Pam went to work or the grocery store. Dan didn't want anyone except family to see him looking so sick, so many offers of help were turned down in order to respect Dan's wishes. Pam had a huge weight on her shoulders and I don't really know how she did it. She was pushy with the Dan who wouldn't eat, and funny with grumpy Dan and loving with the Dan who was sick and in pain and a never ceasing advocate for a plan to make him live.
When Pam was thinking hard, she would look down and make this sound - kind of like, ch ch ch . Always three of them, sometimes in groups. She would be absorbing the latest medical news, making plans for appointments, prescriptions, what to do if the next plan failed - laying it all out in her mind to the tune of ch ch ch. Then she'd look up and start working the plan. Sometimes the plan changed every week, and later on, every hour, but she always had a plan and she was always working it. She talked to the various doctors, made them repeat their recommendations, asked questions, summarized what they said to make sure she understood it and then went on with the plan. She actually made a muscle for the doctor in Philadelphia. She stood up and made the ER doctor back up a few paces when he didn't seem to be listening to her about what Dan needed. I'm sure that anyone who didn't seem to be helping Dan according to Pam's standards got this weird warning tingle in their breastbone, and then they did what they were told.
When Pam and I had to take Dan to Philadelphia a week before he died, he was so weak that we had trouble getting him into the wheelchair. Pam picked the 180 pounds left of him up from the floor and heaved him into the chair because she had to. Then we folded him into the car about as clumsily as it was possible to do. There's a lot of Dan, even when he's skinny Dan, and everything we did caused him pain, but we got him in the car. It was scary and awful, but Pam joked that she and I were the 2 stooges. And Dan complained about my driving and lack of directional capability and then it was ok again. On the way back home, 2 nurse came out to help us get Dan back into the car, and they were even worse than we were. Pam said, hey those nurses made us look pretty good, and from the back of the car comes Dan's voice. "Those nurses kicked your asses."
I miss Dan - I miss his withering sarcasm, his awful spelling, the way his eyes lit up when Pam or Mara came by. But he was a lucky guy. He was lucky because of his brothers and friends who never saw a bad idea that they didn't like. He was lucky because of Mara - the cutest and busiest 2 year old ever invented. But he was luckiest of all because he had Pam.
Anne
i am so sorry about your loss! i was so shocked when i heard. he was a great man. every year my family has a christmas party and all the older kids pick a charity to support and they give a speach about the charity and each family gives $100 to the charity. i have decided to do this charity the "Mara Howard Fund". again i am very sorry about your loss.
,
Hannah Schorsch
(your neighbor)
I am sorry for your loss. Pls. be strong which I know you can and hug Mara for me.
Peace
Alicia
Pam,
You and Mara are in our prayers.
Love, Mollie McNeil Morgan and family
Secure Yourself
In the ink of an eye I saw you bleed;
Through the thunder I could hear you scream,
Solid to the air I breath,
Open-eyed and fast asleep.
Falling softly as the rain;
No footsteps ringing in your ears.
Ragged down worn to the skin,
Warrior raging, have no fear.
Secure yourself to heaven.
Hold on tight, the night has come.
Fasten up your earthly burdens,
You have just begun.
Kneeling down with broken prayers,
Hearts and bones from days of youth.
Restless with an angel's wing,
I dig a grave to bury you.
No feet to fall,
You need no ground.
Allowed to glide right through the sun,
Released from circles guarded tight,
Now we all are chosen ones.
Secure yourself to heaven.
Hold on tight, the night has come.
Fasten up your earthly burdens,
You have just begun
******************
I have always loved that song...
Meghann
I did not know Dan, but am friends with Dan's brother Dave. I have the highest respect for Dave and am sure Dan was like him, including his love for his children. I have children of my own and can only imagine your loss.
We send our prayers from one family to another.
Brian Gordon
Chicago, IL
"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts."
-Charles Dickens
To all the Howard Family, especially Pam and Mara, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dan's cousin Aileen
This is Michael Jenkinson, youngest brother of Billy Jenkinson. Clearly I did not know Dan as well as the majority of people on here, but he is someone I will never forget. When my brother's freinds would get together and I would try and force my way in with them, Dan would usually stick up for me. He was one of the nicest people I ever knew.
The term "nice" in our society has lost it's meaning. It's something you say when you have nothing else to say. And yet, it should mean something. It should stand for someone who is kind, fun, and funny. Someone who is just flat out pleasant to be around. And that's what Dan is. Dan is really, really nice. And I mean that for everything it is meant to be.
After reading Michael Jenkinson statement, I must add to it and say I can relate. As Beth Nagurny's little sister, I too was always "jealous" of Beth's "group" in high school. Jealous of the bond that seem to have, jealous that they have continued all of their friendships for so long, jealous of all the nicknames everyone had (Dex, Tobes, Hamp, Jenks, Skippy, E-man, etc). When I tried to force my way into the crowd too, Dan would alway stick up for me and try to make me feel wanted. He was the epitome of nice, yet sarcastic and hilarious, all at the same time kind of guy. We got married the same year and had our first child within months of each other, so it was cool to see him grow from my big sis's buddy from high school to an amazing husband and father who fought harder than anyone I know. The last time I saw him, I was tagging along with my sister, went to Dan and Pam's and, funny enough, watched a Flyer's game. Pam and I were pregnant so we didn't get to partake in any drinking, but, as always, they were still fun to hang around with. Dan is missed terribly already, and I know he will be missed for eternity. Pam, your an amazing woman whom Dan worshiped like no other, and as many have said, Dan was lucky to have you. I know we will all keep Dan's presence alive and tell the many stories to be told, especially to Mara. God Bless your entire family, my family has you in our thoughts and prayers always.
love, Melissa, Chris Connor and Katerina Hildebrandt
There were many qualities about Dan that I loved, but one that stands out is the way he welcomed people into the group. He always made people feel like they belonged. He was always one of the first ones to introduce himself and talk. This reminds me of Mara. Last month I visited with Dan, Pam and Mara at their beautiful home. Mara had the same qualities. She came over to Paul and me and sat right next to us on the sofa. She sat there and smiled at us. She really made us feel so welcomed. It reminded me so much of Dan. I know she has his amazing blue eyes, but she also has his gift of making people feel welcome.
Lori
We don't know your family but my brother was a good friend of Dan's at Bucknell...you are in our prayers. Stay strong and let the love of friends, family, and God keep you going when you feel like you can't do it by yourself...you're not alone.
"A friend of a friend"
Dear Pam,
My heart goes out to you. Please know that I am holding you and Mara close in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Eleanor Vine
Pam and Mara,
My thoughts and prayers are with the two of you. I am thinking of you and wishing you well during the holiday season. I look forward to seeing you guys soon!
Gretchen
Well the Eagles had a nice win the other day and it made me think about the many Eagles games I watched over the years with Dan. There was this one game...
It was a big game, late in the season about 5 years ago. Becky and I were watching in Philly and Dan and Pam were in Abington. After a big play, one of us would call the other. Eagles fumble, my phone rings, and Dan is already talking, "Protect The Damn Ball! What is that guy thinking? You're on the 25 yard line - you don't DO THAT!" Hangs up. Later, Akers prepares for a long field goal. I call Dan, "He is so money. He's got this one. Don't worry." To which Dan would do his patented reverse, anti-jinx "David Akers Sucks and he'll never make this kick" He hangs up. Kick is GOOOOOOD
So on and on throughout the game. We've called each other probably 20 times. It's still nip and tuck in the fourth quarter - tight game - when the Birds get the break they need - Interception in the end zone! Becky and I are freaking out. The phone rings. I pick it up and scream "F#*K YEAH!!!!" It isn't Dan...
Turns out it is a guy from my work who not only doesn't know that the Eagles are playing but may not even know what the NFL is. He is actually calling with a gardening question (In December...) And seems a bit confused by my greeting. With Becky still celebrating in the background, I manage some kind of explanation and tell him I'll call him back.
A minute later, Dan calls. He and Pam are celebrating. I tell him what happened. He loves it. He gives that unmistakable Dan Howard sly chuckle... "Tober...You're such an ASS H#@*..."
Dear Pam and Mara,
I don't know Dan and your family, but I read about this wonderful man named Dan and I wished I had known him. My mother also died from cancer at age 36yrs, I was 11yrs. It always pains me to know that someone out there has to experience such a loss that ripes at your soul. I will pray for your comfort and healing.
Lisa
Whenever I talked with my parents about Dan, the following story always surfaced during the conversation.
It was summertime and was our second or third year after high school. I remember that a bunch of us were down in Brigantine to hang out, have a good time, etc. One night, much later at night, I had the brilliant idea to stand too close to the edge of the dock. Well, needless to say, I ended up falling in the water, clothes and all. I quickly exited the water and was promptly greeted by Dan laughing and telling me what an idiot I was.
During my unscheduled late night swim, the watch which I was wearing that was a gift from my family fell off of my arm into the depths of Brigantine. My losing the watch was not a popular event in the Blank household and I heard about it for several weeks until...
Fast forward to a few weeks later that summer. We were back down at Brigantine for another weekend. Dan had been around a few of the times when I received grief for losing the watch (in fairness, I had a knack for losing watches, cameras, etc.) When I arrived at Brigatine, Dan had already been there for a while. He was having a beverage of his choice and he walked up to me and handed me a cup. I started to drink from the cup when I heard a rattling noise at the bottom of the cup. I looked down, and there, at the bottom of the cup was my watch minus a few links. I was shocked and also relieved I would not have to hear about the missing watch anymore. It turned out that earlier that day, Dan had gone diving to look for the watch and help me enjoy a more peaceful summer.
I love and miss you Dan. Now if you could just guide me towards the 2 digital cameras, palm pilot and other electronics I have misplaced... You will always be the one who looked out for the rest of us.
Eric
I was standing right there when you fell Eric! I remember that so well, and remember the lost watch and the angst. You didn't just fall, you kind of smacked into the dock on your way down. It looked painful, as well as humiliating, and I remember mocking you. I don't think Dan would want me to be sorry about that. I never heard the follow up story. Classic Dan Howard.
Mel
Thanks for filling in the pieces Mel. It is all true! Definitely classic Dan Howard.
Dear Pam,
I have been struggling for a long time to compose this but I decided to just give it my best shot. It is so difficult to put into words my feelings around such a tragedy. But you have this amazing capacity to be so eloquent even in difficult times so I thought I at least owed you an attempt.
Ever since I met you, I have been awed by your ability to take on new projects, new friends, and new colleagues with such intensity and confidence. It always seemed to me like there was nothing that you could not accomplish if you set your mind to it. Your strength has always been a source of inspiration for me. And now…during these difficult days, I am even more amazed.
Because our daughters are so close in age…..and such good friends, this tragedy has affected me in a way that I had not expected.
I knew Dan mostly through your stories of him, and the occasional “pick up at daycare” conversations we had. You did such a fabulous job of telling Dan stories that I always felt I knew him so well, even though we had never really spent much time together. And what is most clear through all of the stories is the amount of love and respect that you and Dan have for each other. The connection between you two is so intense that people literally feel it whenever you talk about Dan. It is this intensity that you have for Dan…..for Mara, your work, your friends…… that continues to inspire me.
You are one of the strongest people I have ever known……and Mara will benefit enormously from having you as a role model as she grows up. I hope you know how much you are appreciated and admired by your friends and colleagues. We are truly lucky to have you.
-Elyse
Pam -
I'm a colleague of Dan's from Accenture, and though I'm sorry to say that I did not Dan personally, I just want to let you know that you and Mara are in my thoughts and prayers.
I was taking a walk today - just getting some exercise on this beautiful spring day. I was suddenly passed on the walking trail by a tall, steady jogger. I couldn't help but be reminded of Dan. My sister and I stood in the cold and waited for him to cross the finish line of the Philadelphia Marathon one weekend with Rob - right by his side - well - maybe that's too generous - behind him a little bit. (That's been the trend - memories of him sneak up on me when I least expect it.) The finish line was at the Philadelphia Museum of Art - very fitting because it is where he - FINALLY - proposed to my sister. I have never seen love like I saw when Dan looked at my sister. I remember even after Mara was born and our whole family was oohing and ahhing over her I happend to look over at Dan and he wasn't looking at the baby - he was looking at my sister. I waited to write something here because I wasn't sure how to sum up what I loved so much about Dan - there are too many things. The thing I loved most I suppose is the way he loved my sister.
I left Accenture a few days before Dan passed in December. As a result, I received no communication regarding his passing.
I left him a voicemail last week on his cell phone to check in with him and I heard his friendly voice on the outgoing message. I assumed that he was busy with family and work since he has steadfastly continued to work throughout most of his fight.
I can't believe that cancer has taken my friend. I will miss him, always.
My love and condolences to Pam and Mara and the Howard family.
Miss You Danny. You're the best. Can you get the Phils some pitching please?
I haven't seen Dan since he graduated from college, but I always thought he was such a great guy. I'm so sorry for your loss.
YES! Thanks for the pitching! And Hitting. The clinched on your birthday. You're the best Danny. (Is the NL pennant too much to ask for?)
Hey Dan - Al and I were down in AC on Saturday; we hopped the bridge into Brigantine and discovered, to our horror, that the Mob-o-rama is now a real estate office. That's just not right.
Al, Larry and I are heading to the Phils game on Thursday; I will do my best to drink 36 Yuenglings in your honor. Miss you, buddy.
Buonin
I was wondering if I could still contribute to the fund.
Please e-mail me at bosquedental@clearwire.net
Dan and I met during the summer of my junior year at Bucknell. We proceeded to become good friends and buddies, heading to the bar most Thursday nights to have a good time as well as helping ring in my 21st birthday. I am deeply saddened by his illness and susequent battle and at his passing. I offer my condolences and I wish that I had had a chance to let him know how much I valued his friendship. It was unfortunate that we lost contact when I moved to Texas for school. i wish the best to his family and I will continue to think of Dan as a good and fun friend
Please let me know whether I can still donate
Thank you
Richard Hansard '92
Danny, you would have loved (and hated...but mostly loved) the crazy night Jenks and I had in South Philly last night. You name was toasted a number of times with Yuengling and bad whiskey at the Starlight Lounge as the Phillies swam closer to that elusive Philly championship. With rain like that on a national stage...what an opportunity to hop the fence and take a slide. Go Phils! Go Dan Howard!
Tobes
Hey Danny. Happy Birthday. We have boy #2 coming any day. I hope he has your good sense of humor but not your jump shot. Ooohhhh. Hey - and can you help out our Phils? They suddenly look very tired. They need a shot of Pete Rose or Willy Mays Hayes or something. See what you can do. Miss you pal
Tobes
Let's Go Flyers Da Da Da Na Na
Let's Go Flyers Da Da Da Na Na
This Yuengling's for Dave Poulin, Ilka Score-A-Goala, Oagie Oglethorpe and you my friend.
Pam,
My name is Gerrit Gerritsen. I knew Dan from Cold Spring elementary. I was trying to find him on FB, when I found Rob. He shared this link with me. I wanted to leave a comment to let you know that your husband made a big impression on me in life. After 29 years I can still see him smile and laugh. I remember many baseball conversations.
I am sorry for your loss. I am sorry I didn't know him better or keep in touch with him after my move away in 1980. I will pray for you and Mara. As a believer, I know Dan is watching and caring for both of you right now.
God bless you and thank you for this site.
Danny. Well, can you help us out this ("Red") October? I mean the Cards don't really scare me and with this pitching and line-up...Well, in your honor, everytime I drink a Yuengling I will drink one for you too (you know - a few during the game, one for every run, double play, extra base hit, and 2 for a win etc). And every time I hurl the next day - that's right buddy - one for you too! No problem. Happy Birthday my man. Miss you. Love seeing Pam and Mara every time I get a chance. Go Phils. -Tobes
Love you Dan. I wish I could watch the Eagles with you this year - I can just hear your voice - "AWFUL" as you walk out of the room - "just AAAWWWFFFUUUULLLLL!" Yeah - pretty bad. thinking of you, Pam, Little Miss Mara (not that little really) and the Howards. Yuengling for you tonight. XO Tobes
PS - Mrs Dunn told me to tell you your paper is due in 40 minutes
Danny - today they are talking about the last horrible game at the VET on WIP. I can only think of you doing push-ups at the bar (that and Ronde Barber's pick six....)Anyway, wish you could join me for a Yuengling tonight. Maybe some neutralizing. Hey - see if you can fix this NHL bulls***. Love you buddy.
I thought about Dan a lot last night. He would have loved that Penn State win in 4 OT's vs Michigan There was one other very memorable game I watched on TV and it was with Dan. It was Bucknell homecoming October 15, 1994. It was a gorgeous fall day. I don't remember what Bucknell did, and I had to research the exact date, but I remember that Dan I HAD to get to The Bull Run to watch Penn State/Michigan game!! It was an exciting game with an awesome finish, but it was also a great day at the bar with great friends. Dan, I think of you often and miss you dearly,
It has been 10 years now since I lost my dad. Since he died while I was younger, I never felt as though I really got to know him. Luckily I have all of my amazing uncles, and aunts, grandparents, my mom, and friends of my dad's that tell me stories. These stories have been a huge part of my growing up, and through these stories I feel like I have almost gotten to know my dad. I just want to say thank you to all of the people who have helped my mom and me throughout these last 10 years. It means so much to us, and I am sure that it means so much to my dad too. So, thanks.
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